All content copyright © (2014) Jessica's Creation unless otherwise noted.. Powered by Blogger.

Judgemental Parents

Passing judgements is something we're all guilty of even sometimes when we don't mean to, it's also what parents have to deal with a lot and from other parents who should really be more understanding. This is a topic I want to talk about because I personally deal with this on the daily and also see this on many of those parenting forum advice sites, on these sites I see plenty of parents dragging others down and telling them they're in the wrong and things should be done a certain way i.e. their way. I mean don't get me wrong these sites are also brilliant for having that little help I've even used them myself, I think it's just key to remember you are also opening yourself up to negative replies. This will seem very controversial but many parents bring they're little ones up to have respect for everyone and then drill into them to not judge a book by its cover but I think they need to have that serious talk with themselves, everyone has a right to an opinion but it's how it's put out that matters most, a negative opinions can be turned positive with how it's executed.

There's a few reasons why I was inspired to share these thoughts with you because in just the past week I've personally had it done to me and seen it. Let's start off at the beginning of the week... my son Leo (3) is on the autism pathway and struggles with many things one with just being out of his home sometimes, I took him for a regular trip to a local supermarket. On arriving I was so proud because hes walked to whole way there and was happy to walk into a crowded place, I was trying to keep his attention on me by helping me place things into the basket. Now yes Leo is 3 and a half and still uses a buggy he uses it as his safe place and because he has hyper-extendability in his joints which makes him very clumsy. Half way round he tripped fell over and knocked over a few hair products my first thought has to see if he was OK which he was but it has knocked his confidence and wanted into his safe place. Whilst this small but regular thing happened all I had was another women with what looked like her grandchildren tutting at me and Leo. Now I have quite bad anxiety and whilst just trying to help in my sons development people like these do not help.

Another time later on in the week we did the same trip only this time Leo nearly knocked into a women and her only what I could presume husband, I apologised even tho he managed to miss them and get round them perfectly but in return I got a few sighs and looks that could kill. After this one it knocked Leo's confidence and was more frightened of this women so threw himself to the floor and wanted into his safe place. Later at check out they were there I was thinking oh no, now Leo is a big boy and I have a small buggy the looks Leo was getting up and down were horrific I could see the judgements all over they're face.

The pushchair is key in these stories for the final happening, I was online last night trying to look for a pushchair that goes over the normal 15kg weight (approx 3years). Ideally I should be looking out for a special needs pushchair for Leo but I really don't want to until I really have to because I'm only 5"4 and struggle to push him in a tiny stroller as it is. I just really a more sturdy one to last another year tops until I'm forced to do that transition. Whilst strolling on through all the Internet researching all I saw was judgements and negative opinions from parents on these advice sites saying it's not right that these parents that are the same position are not helping their child's development stage. Now these parents in the same position didn't have children with additional needs like Leo but it still did not sit well with me. Everyone is just doing their best, bringing others up is what should be done not dragging them down, everyone and every child develops differently if a parent just wants to make their life a little easier by using a buggy if they still can let them, walking long distances with little legs is exhausting and trying to do the shopping with a basket handbag and a toddler that feels like 10 tonne not wanting to walk feels impossible at times.

A lot of parents have to deal with other parents that sometimes just seem to have it all together judge them all the time but just remember no one really has it all together we're all in the same boat so bringing each other up is really what we should be doing. You have a negative judgement? Don't vocalise it just smile and remember the hard times you've had.

Let's get talking and let me know what you all think of this topic, also let me know your stories however small that you've had to deal with as a parent.

Thank you
Jessica